Back to School Tips for Parent-Child Communication

Preparing children for a new school year typically involves buying new clothes, replacing last year’s backpack, and stocking up on new school equipment. Often overlooked is a check-up on our children’s feelings and outlook about returning to school.

Back to school is a great time to sit down and talk to your children. Many children and teens experience anxiety around going back to school, especially if they are starting at a new school. Simply asking “How do you feel about going back to school?” can be enlightening. Although your child may be hesitant to talk about serious issues with you, just spend some time talking with them so they feel more comfortable.

“Parents who develop a strong relationship with their children through communication are better able to guide them toward more positive, healthy activities and friendships,” said Barbara Strickarz, Chief School Administrator of the High Point Schools in Morganville, a K-12 special education school and division of CPC Behavioral Healthcare. “Back to school time provides parents with a great opportunity to start talking with their children about what is going on in their lives.”  Set aside at least 15 minutes a day to listen and talk to your children in order to promote positive behavior and prevent school bullying.

Research shows that children, who have parents that actively engage them in daily conversations about their lives in and out of school, tend to have better grades, are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, have higher self-esteem, and are more likely to attend college. Positive parent-child communication includes being supportive, listening to your child, tolerating differences, and being understanding.

Studies report that children have a steady and dramatic drop in time spent talking with their parents as they get older. Furthermore, only a small percentage of youth report that they have had conversations with their parents about serious topics such as the dangers of drugs. Regular communication between parents and children can encourage children to listen more to important parental messages.

Here are some tips for parents:
• Take time to talk to your children about going back to school. Get them to express their feelings and share some of your own.
• When your children are talking, stop whatever else you’re doing to listen to them.
• Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.
• Listen to your child’s viewpoint, even if it’s difficult to hear.
• Let your child finish speaking before you respond.
• Focus on your child’s feelings rather than your own during the conversation.
• Control strong emotional responses when you disagree with your child’s point of view.
• Show interest in school activities and attend events that your child is in.
• Resolve to eat dinner together as a family a few times a week, even if it’s just sandwiches before you head out to a game or lesson. Use this time to find out what your child has done with their friends and classmates that week.
• Set family nights on your calendar. Order pizza, play board games, chat, and just have fun together.
“With the door to discussion wide open, your children will feel comfortable coming to you for guidance as tough issues arise in their lives,” noted Strickarz.

9/4/2008